Thursday, 17 September 2015

Here Goes Nothing

I've always thought about writing a blog but convinced myself that my life wasn’t interesting enough or I simply just didn't have the time. The past year has taught me so much about not only about myself, but about the importance of family. So I've decided to share a few chapters of my life with whoever decides to read this. Here goes nothing!


In mid September of 2014 my fiancĂ© David and I found out I was pregnant. I always wanted to be a mother but I wasn’t expecting it to all happen so quick. I had just started my first year of post secondary to become a CYW, and moved away from home. I was excited to hear that I was going to be a mom but I knew it wouldn't be easy. I knew that once word got out to old peers and my church family that the rumours would spread quickly and so would the judging. I decided to clean up my instagram account and remove people I thought would not understand or support us. I posted a picture announcing to my friends that we were expecting a baby boy. To my surprise the photo was leaked from my blocked account. Im not sure why this was such a surprise to me, I guess you really cant trust people.. People began to try and follow me to see what was going on inside my account. It started to get under my skin so I thought I better figure out why it was bothering me so much. I've seen the way people speak about women who become mothers at a young age. I knew I would get looks and people would say things behind my back. I struggled with this for a while because I didn't want people to think I would be a bad mom based off of my age. I decided it wasn't worth my time. I knew I was going to be a good mom and give my son my absolute best.

In the beginning of May 2015 our lives had changed forever. Our beautiful, strong, and sweet boy was born. I’ll never forget the first day with our baby and how unbelievably emotional it was. My heart had never felt so much love before. That night our nurse told us that Christian had an infection in his lungs and had to be moved to the NICU. I will never forget how helpless and heartbroken I felt in that moment. All I wanted was for him to be in my arms and healthy. I remember sitting in the NICU sobbing for hours before being sent back to my room. I’ll never forget how I felt walking back to my room at 4am without my baby. David and I spent days in the hospital being tossed from room to room while Christian was on an antibiotic. Several days later the nurses said we were aloud to go home while they watched Christian, but there was no way we were leaving him behind. Ill never forget the day they sent us home.. Mothers Day! That was the best first Mothers Day present I could have asked for.

I can truly say I am beyond blessed to have David in my life. He has given me the best gifts of all: family and true love. I can't think of any other guy our age who would be willing to drop everything and start a family. Every waking second he has been there to support Christian and I in all ways imaginable. I always knew I loved him so much but I learned to love him in more ways when I saw him with our son. He is such an amazing dad! I love watching him talk to Christian in goofy voices and watching them both laugh.

"Family: where life begins and love never ends." -Unknown